I've never been very good at keeping a diary. I had a few growing up, but they eventually became laden with random sketches. I guess drawing made more sense back then. I had more time to put into doing that back then. Ah, the freedom of escaping to your bedroom and crashing onto your bed just to draw away the thoughts swirling around in my brain. As a married mom of three who works full time, doodling in a journal is just not in the cards. Recently, a couple of close friends suggested I start blogging. "Who knows, maybe you'll help someone else." Well, then....maybe some good could come out of daily logging my neural download. Hopefully, you'll glean something from my rambles, laugh at my nerdy jokes and even cry as we connect.
Everyone has their share of stress in life, some more than enough, some self-inflicted. Me, I just want to get through one day in life without feeling like I've fumbled through my day. I have ADD. Every day is a battle. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one for leaning on a proverbial crutch so people will "understand". I struggle through it as quietly as I can. I think my husband would disagree, but that's what they're for right? To lean on? I don't talk about my ADD very much because so many respond with understanding when there's no way they really can, or they don't believe it exists at all. Worse, some just blame the ADD for a mistake I've made. "Well, that's understandable. I mean, with your ADD, you must have just had too much going on at once." Phooey. Those with ADD tend to do better doing multiple things at once or with a deadline. I won't do more than 3 things at once. Unless baking dessert, cooking dinner, talking with the kids, running a load of laundry and cleaning dishes simultaneously counts....I call that being a mom. To each his own.
What do you do when you find out that what's "wrong" with you is discovered when your child gets a positive diagnosis from your family pediatrician? Oh! So, I'm not crazy, I'm not stupid (knew that)....my brain is just retarded. Great. Turns out, by the long list of symptoms, I got it from my mother, who got it from her mother. Now my oldest has it. So where do we go from here?
I've read several books on ADD that primarily point towards how to help kids. That's helped me get past the starting line, especially with my daughter. However, certain helpful tips had to be adapted to work for me. I don't carry around a student planner, I have an iPhone. I use my Stickies app to leave myself virtual Post-Its on my lock screen. I make multiple alarms. I have an alarm to wake me up (not unusual), an alarm to remind me to lock my bedroom door (because my ten year old likes to buy apps on my kindle after resetting it to get around parental controls. Thanks, Kindle!), an alarm to alert me to get my daughter to youth group...and another to remind me to go get her. Not that I would forget her, but I have shown up late because I wasn't paying attention to the time properly. I have an alarm to send me to our elliptical. That's alright, I laugh at that one too. I use the timer on my phone for everything...laundry, cooking, baking, timing kids doing chores. I can get so many thoughts swirling around about what happened today, what needs to be done tomorrow or this week?.....do I need to do my laundry?....what chores have I slacked on?....are those library books due yet?....I need to remember to make my student loan payment tomorrow....and the list goes on and on. Sounds normal, nothing unusual....unless you have ADD and your life literally feels like this:
If you have ADD or know someone who does, you're laughing because you get it. That makes me happy. If not, well....maybe next time.
I'll make no promises to how often I will post on here. Some could be daily, some could be a week apart. I hope you guys will join me on this ride for all it's worth. Thanks for reading!